Laura, ugh! I just want to say your Substack is one I look forward to reading. You're incredibly engaging and thoughtful, and I’m so grateful for the way you share your life and inner workings.
When it comes to losing interest in hobbies, I get it! Right down to the gardening. For me, the challenge of the learning curve is what keeps me hooked, but once the curve flattens and it’s all about maintenance, the interest fades.
There's just too much competing for focus, like eating regularly, getting some movement in, and connecting with humans outside of the house. They might seem simple for some people, but as an AuDHD, these are the things that are first to go when a new challenge presents itself. The struggle to maintain these basic components feels like a defunct.
You don't know how much those words of encouragement mean to me. Thank you!
The challenge of the learning curve -- that absolutely rings true for me too as well. There's a lot of motivation when you're making big gains in understand daily. When the gains are more marginal, the rewards taper off too.
But then it's a jack of all trades, master of none situation. I've felt some shame around that. Why can't I just see these things through? Not to mention I buy all sorts of equipment that then gathers dust. So yeah, I'm trying to work through all this. I'm so glad this resonated with you, and thank you for commenting.
Jack of all trades, that stupid phrase haunted since elementary school. Lately I thought maybe jack is the initiator of all trades. Jack is valuable because Jack is a role model of the start.
I like that. Jack's a self-starter, and he's got endless curiosity. Kind of like the way Temple Grandin spun the put-down "can't see for the forest for the trees." In one of her books on autism she says, "yes but we're very good at seeing the trees."
Hi Laura, this is very thought-provoking! I, too, do this, but without so much self-awareness. I very nearly set out on training to be a midwife during my first pregnancy because I became so fascinated by birth! I also BECAME a full-time gardener after my special interest in flowers became all-encompassing. And only recently have I moved past an almost aversion to gardening that then followed...
I'm sorry to hear your beautiful garden was overrun, can you afford to pay someone to keep it weeded? I got an allotment and then was in allotment prison for a couple of years as I couldn't admit that I couldn't manage it/no longer had any interest in managing it. What a relief to finally get the letter of GET OFF OUR LAND.
I still have an aversion to growing vegetables. It's probably for the best that I never actually sold my house in order to go offgrid, lol.
What fun it is being this way! Happy to have found you, great post : )
Chelsea! I saw your comment and replied on my phone then hit send too quickly and in my attempt to fix this I accidentally deleted your response! And I don’t see a way to restore it! Gah. I’m so bad on my phone. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that it’s dawning on me that I have ADHD too. Our experiences line up so much, even down to the stuff. And it seems other ADHD people identify with this as well. Looks like my journey isn’t done yet!
Hi Laura! I just found your Substack and this is the first piece I’m resign and my first thought was also: what about ADHD in the mix? I wouldn’t have said anything, being new here, but seeing this response, wanted to validate that it might be worth looking into.
I do feel a sadness, grief maybe, at the end of my passion cycles; I’ve always attributed that to the autism side. The exhaustion/crash does sound like ADHD to me.
Once, after I was told I am not autistic by my psychiatrist I made myself stop consuming content about autism; that lasted until a particularly tough burnout like weekend and when I allowed myself to watch YouTube videos about autism it was so clear — the interest itself was soothing, a way to take care of myself, it helped me regulate. That felt very autistic to me. Wanted to share this to illustrate the flip side.
Hey Hanna! More valuable feedback that the crash is probably ADHD asserting itself... I feel like these particular pieces are finally fitting together, and now I feel pretty convinced that I have ADHD too. The question for me now is whether to seek out a diagnosis. Funny enough, while it felt obvious to me that I should get an autism diagnosis, I find myself hesitating more with ADHD. Not sure why that is, I'll ponder it some more.
I've heard many stories of psychiatrists telling patients they don't have autism, only for the patients to later get confirmation they do have it. Frustrating. I went to an autism specialist for my diagnosis and I suspect that made for a better experience. She was a woman of color a bit younger than me, and I'll venture that helps her better appreciate the diversity of autism presentations. Whereas it seems like some practitioners can get stuck in outdated autism stereotypes.
I'm so glad you had a positive experience with your autism assessment!
I wonder how much of your understanding of yourself / neurodiversity / etc. has changed since finding out you're autistic. I guess I'm curious: is it ADHD vs autism that makes the difference with your hesitation or where you are today compared to when autism first showed up on your radar.
One of the reasons I pursued a diagnosis for ADHD is because I wanted to try medication.
Your comment reminded me of a big reason I'm less motivated to pursue an ADHD diagnosis than other people are, which is probably important to mention -- I have narcolepsy, and I'm already being treated with medication used to treat ADHD. For some reason that wasn't front of mind!
But also to your question about how I understand myself: I identified so strongly with autistic traits pre-diagnosis, and that probably led me to seek out the diagnosis. Autism has so much explanatory power in my life. I feel that less strongly with ADHD. I identify with ADHD traits more at the margins. But, I'm less informed about ADHD (just like I once was uninformed about autism), so maybe as I understand it better, my views will change.
My husband is diagnosed with ADHD and in some ways I see us as polar opposites. His ADHD traits of novelty-seeking and attention-shifting lead (from my vantage point) to chaos and disorder. That chaos is very hard for me to deal with sometimes, given my autistic need for order and routine. I still struggle a bit to wrap my mind around ADHD and autism in a single person, and what that means! This is a big question, but how do you make sense of the apparent tension between these ADHD and autism traits?
That is the key question!! how to make sense of the tension between the two. It's mirrored in structure vs play for me. I'm always trying to find the sweet spot where the autism gets to create structures and frameworks that are both solid and flexible enough for the ADHD parts to have fun and play without creating chaos (and without being suppressed).
Thanks so much for sharing, Chelsea! Very glad to hear I'm not alone in this. I hope you don't mind my asking, but given that you're Au-DHD: do you think the crashing/indifference/aversion part relates to ADHD at all? I'm not diagnosed with it, but I do wonder, since this cycling hasn't been discussed in autism literature. My brother has ADHD, so it may be in my genes.
Re becoming a full-time gardener and then developing an aversion... that's tough. And that's where you and I seem to differ from the cellular biologist interviewed in The Transmitter article. She has sustained a lifelong passion for pathogenic bacteria, and she's made it her career. I just can't sustain a deep interest that long.
Re my garden, the whole thing was ill-advised from a maintenance perspective. The "hardscaping" was gravel, inspired by city parks in Paris and other places with crunchy garden paths. I didn't bargain on the never-ending battle to keep it clean of fallen leaves, seeds, weeds, etc. So we ended up scrapping the whole thing for a simpler design (done online by Yardzen) with easier maintenance. That's the other thing -- I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. I designed a garden myself but I did it as a dilettante, and it was not a very good garden, it turns out. But I had fun doing it.
Thanks for chiming in here and for the kind words!
Hi Laura, I recognise this so much. In fact it is with trepidation that I'm about to embark on a Masters and PhD in disability, for which I have a full scholarship...but will my interest drop off a cliff part way through? Terrifying. I'm hoping that the multiple lines of enquiry (and therefore multiple areas to research for a month or a few months at a time) might keep my interest over the course of the next 4/5 years.
One other thing I wanted to share in response to your post was to ask if you've heard about autistic demand avoidance? I've discovered this through having a child who experiences very extreme demand avoidance (sometimes called pathological demand avoidance or PDA) and recognising the smaller but significant ways demand avoidance also impacts my own neurology. I'm going to link to a web page by an adult PDAer, Tomlin Wilding, who writes so beautifully and in detail to explain demand avoidance in its various forms. I'd love to hear what you think and whether you recognise any of their descriptions. https://tomlinwilding.com/what-is-demand-avoidance-and-when-is-it-pathological/
Congratulations on your scholarship! That's wonderful. In my professional life, I'm able to stay interested if I can rotate between different projects to get that novelty/freshness I need. I'm optimistic you'll be able to engineer that as well -- it helps to know in advance that burnout can arise (which you do) and to plan for that by having a few projects going at once, or at least timetables that allow for intense periods of focus followed by breaks.
Yes, I've heard of demand avoidance. I experience it myself, and see it in my kids (also seems like there's a related developmental phase for 2-3 year olds), and it's on my list for a research deep dive. Thanks for sharing that post. Reading it, the author is using the term differently from how I understand it. The author says:
"Understanding these factors, and the above information regarding anxiety and executive function, we can see how neurodivergent people experience more opportunities for anxiety and executive function issues, which often results in a greater degree of demand avoidance. The avoidance in these cases may be extreme and happen often, but it occurs as a result of, either a deficit of executive function or, trying to avoid a task or situation that causes anxiety, such as social gatherings, making phone calls or going to unfamiliar places. This is the same, “normal”, demand avoidance that everyone experiences but the likelihood of it happening is increased."
I thought demand avoidance was when the demand itself causes the aversion, not just when you avoid something because of anxiety specific to that something. But the author uses PDA as the term for what I understand to be regular demand avoidance:
"Rather than the PDAer experiencing anxiety about something, and therefore avoiding the demand related to the source of anxiety, the thing that makes the PDAer anxious is demand itself."
But! This is an under-researched area and I don't think there's yet consensus. So I'm not sure there is a "right" and "wrong" use of the terms here.
I think it's interesting how demand avoidance and a desire for routine can interact, since there's an apparent tension between the two. If someone imposes a schedule on me (like if I'm traveling with a group and have to go along with the crowd), my innate demand avoidance kicks in and I rebel. I hate having schedules imposed on me. But... if I follow an externally-imposed schedule enough (like when I was in school), I begin to appreciate it. I want to stick with the routine. Do you relate to any of that?
Oh! I have so much I could say about this. You could almost say it’s become a “special interest” for me to figure it out. (I detest that phrase, “special” is one of those words I react to like how other people seem to hate “moist”… anyway…) As a self-employed creative for the past 20 years, whose work life has kind of depended on being able to finish projects, it all came to a head in a massive burnout. But I still have an imperative drive to create things, and I eventually learned that there are two separate things going on. One, obviously, I just love researching things. I get a second-hand high from just learning and watching other people finish projects in precise and creative ways. The second thing has to do with… dun dun dun… PERFECTIONISM. If I “know” how to do the whole thing perfectly, it’s as good as done, and I don’t need to struggle through the uncomfortable mess of actually doing it! Yay!
So to combat this, I’ve turned projects on their head. I am still allowed to research as much as I like. But before I buy a single thing, or start any big plans, I have to start something small, with things I have immediately available, and iterate as I go. Between implementing this, and learning to somatically recognize and deal with feelings, it’s made a big difference for me.
Till now I have not come across the mention of crashing special interests. I’ve always referred to mine as tides. But you’re right, a crashing wave seems more appropriate in description the speed of the coming and going like waves. A wave.
It was just last night I thought to myself, what if my timeline just looks different from what we’ve been conditioned to think is ‘right’? Like butterflies vs tortoises, different life span different cycles.
The more I study cognition, the more convinced I become that there is no single "right." There's a reason we're all the way we are; we're all right. Not a very original thought, I know, but anyway, I agree with what you're saying.
It's that "S" shaped learning curve. The initial part is slow but accelerating. As you dive deeper, it takes off. The feedback loop is pure gold. A rocket ship taking off. Then it levels off.
At that point, the really good stuff is over. Much harder to stay with it. I've been there. I used to get caught up in something and go on mad, unsustainable spending sprees.
I finally realized that the learning was the thing. I could actually skip acquiring the paraphernalia and dive into the research and learning in most cases.
I am doing my usual thing.... I've read it and am turning it over in my mind so my reaction can be measured and (hopefully) reasonably articulate. I do love the latest post and should have some comments later today or tonight.
S shaped learning curve -- hadn't heard of that before, but that's exactly right.
I seesaw between purely intellectual pursuits (learning a language, studying a topic) and crafts/visual arts (sewing clothes, painting). Although I'll usually buy a few reference books when I have a new interest, the latter category really hits my wallet.
Congrats on leveling off your spending! I do find that as I get older, I can step outside myself and view my consumption urges with a more critical eye. That's allowed me to better moderate my habits.
My most reckless spend was buying a fancy camera years ago when I got into photography. I don't want to think about its cost per use.
So relatable. So much surfaced that I had never seen described.
I am working on a project that is trying to do something similar: name the unnamed, validate the unvalidated, make visible the invisible. (It may be merely my own latest hobby; only time will tell!).
There are a number of interwoven threads that my posts address so far: patient insight, phenomena that are real even if not yet formally operationalized, somatic literacy, and 3e (2e+chronic illness).
Laura, ugh! I just want to say your Substack is one I look forward to reading. You're incredibly engaging and thoughtful, and I’m so grateful for the way you share your life and inner workings.
When it comes to losing interest in hobbies, I get it! Right down to the gardening. For me, the challenge of the learning curve is what keeps me hooked, but once the curve flattens and it’s all about maintenance, the interest fades.
There's just too much competing for focus, like eating regularly, getting some movement in, and connecting with humans outside of the house. They might seem simple for some people, but as an AuDHD, these are the things that are first to go when a new challenge presents itself. The struggle to maintain these basic components feels like a defunct.
You don't know how much those words of encouragement mean to me. Thank you!
The challenge of the learning curve -- that absolutely rings true for me too as well. There's a lot of motivation when you're making big gains in understand daily. When the gains are more marginal, the rewards taper off too.
But then it's a jack of all trades, master of none situation. I've felt some shame around that. Why can't I just see these things through? Not to mention I buy all sorts of equipment that then gathers dust. So yeah, I'm trying to work through all this. I'm so glad this resonated with you, and thank you for commenting.
Jack of all trades, that stupid phrase haunted since elementary school. Lately I thought maybe jack is the initiator of all trades. Jack is valuable because Jack is a role model of the start.
I like that. Jack's a self-starter, and he's got endless curiosity. Kind of like the way Temple Grandin spun the put-down "can't see for the forest for the trees." In one of her books on autism she says, "yes but we're very good at seeing the trees."
Hey there! Checking back in on this comment because it spurred an idea I developed in this new post. Would love to hear your reaction: https://strangeclarity.substack.com/p/could-a-drive-for-certainty-be-key
Hi Laura, this is very thought-provoking! I, too, do this, but without so much self-awareness. I very nearly set out on training to be a midwife during my first pregnancy because I became so fascinated by birth! I also BECAME a full-time gardener after my special interest in flowers became all-encompassing. And only recently have I moved past an almost aversion to gardening that then followed...
I'm sorry to hear your beautiful garden was overrun, can you afford to pay someone to keep it weeded? I got an allotment and then was in allotment prison for a couple of years as I couldn't admit that I couldn't manage it/no longer had any interest in managing it. What a relief to finally get the letter of GET OFF OUR LAND.
I still have an aversion to growing vegetables. It's probably for the best that I never actually sold my house in order to go offgrid, lol.
What fun it is being this way! Happy to have found you, great post : )
Chelsea! I saw your comment and replied on my phone then hit send too quickly and in my attempt to fix this I accidentally deleted your response! And I don’t see a way to restore it! Gah. I’m so bad on my phone. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that it’s dawning on me that I have ADHD too. Our experiences line up so much, even down to the stuff. And it seems other ADHD people identify with this as well. Looks like my journey isn’t done yet!
Hi Laura! I just found your Substack and this is the first piece I’m resign and my first thought was also: what about ADHD in the mix? I wouldn’t have said anything, being new here, but seeing this response, wanted to validate that it might be worth looking into.
I do feel a sadness, grief maybe, at the end of my passion cycles; I’ve always attributed that to the autism side. The exhaustion/crash does sound like ADHD to me.
Once, after I was told I am not autistic by my psychiatrist I made myself stop consuming content about autism; that lasted until a particularly tough burnout like weekend and when I allowed myself to watch YouTube videos about autism it was so clear — the interest itself was soothing, a way to take care of myself, it helped me regulate. That felt very autistic to me. Wanted to share this to illustrate the flip side.
Hey Hanna! More valuable feedback that the crash is probably ADHD asserting itself... I feel like these particular pieces are finally fitting together, and now I feel pretty convinced that I have ADHD too. The question for me now is whether to seek out a diagnosis. Funny enough, while it felt obvious to me that I should get an autism diagnosis, I find myself hesitating more with ADHD. Not sure why that is, I'll ponder it some more.
I've heard many stories of psychiatrists telling patients they don't have autism, only for the patients to later get confirmation they do have it. Frustrating. I went to an autism specialist for my diagnosis and I suspect that made for a better experience. She was a woman of color a bit younger than me, and I'll venture that helps her better appreciate the diversity of autism presentations. Whereas it seems like some practitioners can get stuck in outdated autism stereotypes.
Thank you for chiming in!
I'm so glad you had a positive experience with your autism assessment!
I wonder how much of your understanding of yourself / neurodiversity / etc. has changed since finding out you're autistic. I guess I'm curious: is it ADHD vs autism that makes the difference with your hesitation or where you are today compared to when autism first showed up on your radar.
One of the reasons I pursued a diagnosis for ADHD is because I wanted to try medication.
Your comment reminded me of a big reason I'm less motivated to pursue an ADHD diagnosis than other people are, which is probably important to mention -- I have narcolepsy, and I'm already being treated with medication used to treat ADHD. For some reason that wasn't front of mind!
But also to your question about how I understand myself: I identified so strongly with autistic traits pre-diagnosis, and that probably led me to seek out the diagnosis. Autism has so much explanatory power in my life. I feel that less strongly with ADHD. I identify with ADHD traits more at the margins. But, I'm less informed about ADHD (just like I once was uninformed about autism), so maybe as I understand it better, my views will change.
My husband is diagnosed with ADHD and in some ways I see us as polar opposites. His ADHD traits of novelty-seeking and attention-shifting lead (from my vantage point) to chaos and disorder. That chaos is very hard for me to deal with sometimes, given my autistic need for order and routine. I still struggle a bit to wrap my mind around ADHD and autism in a single person, and what that means! This is a big question, but how do you make sense of the apparent tension between these ADHD and autism traits?
That is the key question!! how to make sense of the tension between the two. It's mirrored in structure vs play for me. I'm always trying to find the sweet spot where the autism gets to create structures and frameworks that are both solid and flexible enough for the ADHD parts to have fun and play without creating chaos (and without being suppressed).
I have been in conversations about this if you'd like to check it out: https://purposefulconnection.substack.com/p/live-with-hanna-keiner-and-megan
This one also had a really good and deep discussion (though it's behind a paywall, I think. I might have a gift subscription option still, feel free to DM me if you're interested): https://neurodivergentinsights.substack.com/p/field-notes-friday?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
Thanks so much for sharing, Chelsea! Very glad to hear I'm not alone in this. I hope you don't mind my asking, but given that you're Au-DHD: do you think the crashing/indifference/aversion part relates to ADHD at all? I'm not diagnosed with it, but I do wonder, since this cycling hasn't been discussed in autism literature. My brother has ADHD, so it may be in my genes.
Re becoming a full-time gardener and then developing an aversion... that's tough. And that's where you and I seem to differ from the cellular biologist interviewed in The Transmitter article. She has sustained a lifelong passion for pathogenic bacteria, and she's made it her career. I just can't sustain a deep interest that long.
Re my garden, the whole thing was ill-advised from a maintenance perspective. The "hardscaping" was gravel, inspired by city parks in Paris and other places with crunchy garden paths. I didn't bargain on the never-ending battle to keep it clean of fallen leaves, seeds, weeds, etc. So we ended up scrapping the whole thing for a simpler design (done online by Yardzen) with easier maintenance. That's the other thing -- I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. I designed a garden myself but I did it as a dilettante, and it was not a very good garden, it turns out. But I had fun doing it.
Thanks for chiming in here and for the kind words!
Hi Laura, I recognise this so much. In fact it is with trepidation that I'm about to embark on a Masters and PhD in disability, for which I have a full scholarship...but will my interest drop off a cliff part way through? Terrifying. I'm hoping that the multiple lines of enquiry (and therefore multiple areas to research for a month or a few months at a time) might keep my interest over the course of the next 4/5 years.
One other thing I wanted to share in response to your post was to ask if you've heard about autistic demand avoidance? I've discovered this through having a child who experiences very extreme demand avoidance (sometimes called pathological demand avoidance or PDA) and recognising the smaller but significant ways demand avoidance also impacts my own neurology. I'm going to link to a web page by an adult PDAer, Tomlin Wilding, who writes so beautifully and in detail to explain demand avoidance in its various forms. I'd love to hear what you think and whether you recognise any of their descriptions. https://tomlinwilding.com/what-is-demand-avoidance-and-when-is-it-pathological/
Congratulations on your scholarship! That's wonderful. In my professional life, I'm able to stay interested if I can rotate between different projects to get that novelty/freshness I need. I'm optimistic you'll be able to engineer that as well -- it helps to know in advance that burnout can arise (which you do) and to plan for that by having a few projects going at once, or at least timetables that allow for intense periods of focus followed by breaks.
Yes, I've heard of demand avoidance. I experience it myself, and see it in my kids (also seems like there's a related developmental phase for 2-3 year olds), and it's on my list for a research deep dive. Thanks for sharing that post. Reading it, the author is using the term differently from how I understand it. The author says:
"Understanding these factors, and the above information regarding anxiety and executive function, we can see how neurodivergent people experience more opportunities for anxiety and executive function issues, which often results in a greater degree of demand avoidance. The avoidance in these cases may be extreme and happen often, but it occurs as a result of, either a deficit of executive function or, trying to avoid a task or situation that causes anxiety, such as social gatherings, making phone calls or going to unfamiliar places. This is the same, “normal”, demand avoidance that everyone experiences but the likelihood of it happening is increased."
I thought demand avoidance was when the demand itself causes the aversion, not just when you avoid something because of anxiety specific to that something. But the author uses PDA as the term for what I understand to be regular demand avoidance:
"Rather than the PDAer experiencing anxiety about something, and therefore avoiding the demand related to the source of anxiety, the thing that makes the PDAer anxious is demand itself."
But! This is an under-researched area and I don't think there's yet consensus. So I'm not sure there is a "right" and "wrong" use of the terms here.
I think it's interesting how demand avoidance and a desire for routine can interact, since there's an apparent tension between the two. If someone imposes a schedule on me (like if I'm traveling with a group and have to go along with the crowd), my innate demand avoidance kicks in and I rebel. I hate having schedules imposed on me. But... if I follow an externally-imposed schedule enough (like when I was in school), I begin to appreciate it. I want to stick with the routine. Do you relate to any of that?
Thank you for sharing, Liz!
This was so interesting and informative, thank you!
Thank you for reading and dropping a note!
Oh! I have so much I could say about this. You could almost say it’s become a “special interest” for me to figure it out. (I detest that phrase, “special” is one of those words I react to like how other people seem to hate “moist”… anyway…) As a self-employed creative for the past 20 years, whose work life has kind of depended on being able to finish projects, it all came to a head in a massive burnout. But I still have an imperative drive to create things, and I eventually learned that there are two separate things going on. One, obviously, I just love researching things. I get a second-hand high from just learning and watching other people finish projects in precise and creative ways. The second thing has to do with… dun dun dun… PERFECTIONISM. If I “know” how to do the whole thing perfectly, it’s as good as done, and I don’t need to struggle through the uncomfortable mess of actually doing it! Yay!
So to combat this, I’ve turned projects on their head. I am still allowed to research as much as I like. But before I buy a single thing, or start any big plans, I have to start something small, with things I have immediately available, and iterate as I go. Between implementing this, and learning to somatically recognize and deal with feelings, it’s made a big difference for me.
Your insightful comment to this post helped spur an idea, which I talk about here. I'd love to hear your reaction! https://strangeclarity.substack.com/p/could-a-drive-for-certainty-be-key
Till now I have not come across the mention of crashing special interests. I’ve always referred to mine as tides. But you’re right, a crashing wave seems more appropriate in description the speed of the coming and going like waves. A wave.
It was just last night I thought to myself, what if my timeline just looks different from what we’ve been conditioned to think is ‘right’? Like butterflies vs tortoises, different life span different cycles.
The more I study cognition, the more convinced I become that there is no single "right." There's a reason we're all the way we are; we're all right. Not a very original thought, I know, but anyway, I agree with what you're saying.
It's that "S" shaped learning curve. The initial part is slow but accelerating. As you dive deeper, it takes off. The feedback loop is pure gold. A rocket ship taking off. Then it levels off.
At that point, the really good stuff is over. Much harder to stay with it. I've been there. I used to get caught up in something and go on mad, unsustainable spending sprees.
I finally realized that the learning was the thing. I could actually skip acquiring the paraphernalia and dive into the research and learning in most cases.
Stuart, checking back in again, because your comment to this post helped spur an idea which I discuss in a new post. I'd love to hear your reaction! https://strangeclarity.substack.com/p/could-a-drive-for-certainty-be-key
I am doing my usual thing.... I've read it and am turning it over in my mind so my reaction can be measured and (hopefully) reasonably articulate. I do love the latest post and should have some comments later today or tonight.
S shaped learning curve -- hadn't heard of that before, but that's exactly right.
I seesaw between purely intellectual pursuits (learning a language, studying a topic) and crafts/visual arts (sewing clothes, painting). Although I'll usually buy a few reference books when I have a new interest, the latter category really hits my wallet.
Congrats on leveling off your spending! I do find that as I get older, I can step outside myself and view my consumption urges with a more critical eye. That's allowed me to better moderate my habits.
My most reckless spend was buying a fancy camera years ago when I got into photography. I don't want to think about its cost per use.
So relatable. So much surfaced that I had never seen described.
I am working on a project that is trying to do something similar: name the unnamed, validate the unvalidated, make visible the invisible. (It may be merely my own latest hobby; only time will tell!).
There are a number of interwoven threads that my posts address so far: patient insight, phenomena that are real even if not yet formally operationalized, somatic literacy, and 3e (2e+chronic illness).
Check it out if you're so inclined! Here's one post that may resonate: https://open.substack.com/pub/thethirdedge/p/before-i-had-a-name-for-it
Wow, incredibly interesting. Thanks for sharing!